Monday, April 30, 2012

Chasing the Bridge that's already broken.

Don't tell me to jump.
I was already there,
Jumping for you.
Don't even tell me to Hurt.
I've been there,
Hurting for you.

Love,
It's all gone.
Thanks to you.
I can really say,
'Thank you'
Because you saved me
from my naivety.

My love,
I loved you.
I know I did.
I know
What it felt like.
And I know
It will never
be the same.

It's all numb to me now.
Heartache, and pain.
No sensation at all
But I know it's still there.
Lingering feelings of dejection
They'll come back one day.
Breathlessness, at the sight of your face.
Light headed when I
Sense your presence around
And pain.
Life longing pain,
For the life I once had,
but never really experienced.

Don't tell me to breathe,
As I mention your name.
Because all it brings to me now,
Is anxiety.
I can't breathe
With these swords through my stomach.
I can't sleep with your name in my head.
Anxiety,
Because I still remember your name

And a love once forgotten.
But the feeling still remains.
Numb.
Echoing through my brain.

"Jump."
You say.
And here I am again,
Flying for you.
And I find
I've lost myself
in the lifelong
quest for your approval.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Boredom fuels the most complex emotions.

When you have it all, you still can somehow feel so empty. But when you lose it all, it somehow feels like what you lost was everything you had. You feel like there are some things you need to get back just to feel full again. But how could that make you feel complete if you never were to begin with?

They say losing someone helps you realize the value of what they meant to you. That's not love. Because if you were alright before you had it, there is no reason you shouldn't be, once it's gone. What people really need to watch out for it what's always been there. What's remained unnoticed and been taken for granted. Things that you never noticed come and go, but have somehow made you feel blissfully empty.
Tragedy stricken people, don't need sympathy, at least they have a concrete reason for their sorrows, while the rest of us mask our confusion by seeking out the tragedy in our lives.

We're all so consumed with hate and misery. It's nicer like that sometimes. It's comfortable. Because when you have nothing to be, and nothing to feel, sadness does not victimize you, but accompanies you. It's a friend and it will stay that way until it thinks you're ready to handle the world without it's gratitude.

When we look in the mirror, we see what is, what was, and what could be, but completely ignore what is. We see our actions, our judgement, our lies, our arrogance and our misery. But we never really stop for a minute and realize that we're beautiful. At every moment viewed separately, and in every possible way.

Live. Because you're alive anyways. Breathe. Don't think. One day, we'll all be dead and nothing we did will ever matter. So why not live free? Why not do what you want and not worry about the consequences? We may not even be alive for them anyways. Live. In the moment.
Live.
And never for a second forget that you are beautiful.