I could read a million sites on 'How to get self confidence', or 'How to get an ego', or 'How to get self esteem', and 'How to stop cutting'. Nothing really speaks out to me more than, apart from actually feeling the confidence, it's more about acting.
So, how good an actor are you?
Every single one of my teachers, be it music, art or academic subjects have all told me at one point, to be more 'confident'. My friends too, have all told me to get some self esteem.
What does being confident even mean? We all have our issues and insecurities whether we show it or not. Maybe people like me don't seem confident because we're vulnerable. Is it just me, or is the idea of 'loving yourself' absurd? I mean, everyone's equal, we all have flaws, scars, and depth, so what's in me that isn't in anyone else? Why should I love myself if I'm not special? What's the point of just me, when there are 6 billion other people in this world?
I'll never know the answer to those.
What I do know is, it's hard to get hurt if you make sure you never ever give a fuck. An ego, is like a barrier to letting external sources affect your emotions. What's more, confidence attracts, anything and everything. So I guess if you're confident and egoistic, you'll be attractive, and fucking invincible.
All it takes is, keeping your back straight and your head up. You're a model no matter what size you are, and the world is your ramp. Put your best face forward. You don't have to look drop-dead gorgeous, you just have to look as good as you can for you. Make an extra effort to correct the external aspects of your appearance that you actually have control of, rather than concentrating on the things you can never change.
You don't have to learn how to love yourself, you just have to love the person you want to be, and act like that person because that person is in there somewhere. You're the one who created him or her.
When your surrounded by intimidating people, and feel like going into your little shell to escape from it, change that thought. Act like you would if no one else was around. Sing and dance like your in a broadway show,Smile at anything not unpleasant, so that you actually end up feeling it inside, and talk to yourself if no one else listens. Sure they'll think you're a freak.
But it shouldn't matter to you, 'cos you'll have an unbreakable ego.